Blog Archives

For Parents: Successful Parent-Teacher Conferences

PTConf

Have you seen this all over your favorite social media platform? A teacher is your child’s biggest cheerleader in school, make sure you are a team!

Welcome to September, which means slightly cooler weather, Johnny Appleseed, visits to the apple orchard, and amazing apple pies.  For those of us who work in schools September also presents one of the most anticipated weeks of the school year: Parent-Teacher Conferences.  It is well known that many parents and teachers communicate more consistently through e-mail, Twitter, and Facebook but the individual one on on conference is a sacred time in our year.  Here are a few tips to help navigate your parent teacher conference, and help you leave feeling like you know everything about your child at school.

Be Prepared to Listen

Although fall conferences happen within the first quarter of the school year, your child’s teacher has gathered a lot of information and wants to share it with you.  Teachers will share important progress indicators, these are usually not grades, to help you paint the picture of where your child stands within the same age and grade peer group.  LISTEN! The progress indicators shared are many times more important than an actual grade. Take note to the expected performance for this time of year and where your child is performing.  This is the type of data teachers use consistently to make decisions about learning experiences in the classroom.  Sure, grades are important; however, unless you really understand what the grade represents there is little difference between an A or C.  Many teachers will also share their insight on how your child is growing socially in the context of school.

Be Prepared to Ask Questions

You are going to have questions, and your teacher wants to answer them.  Most often we hear parents report they feel like there is never enough time to ask their questions.  My son’s teacher sent home a request for questions prior to the conference so she can ensure there is enough time to talk about what is important to us.  If you have specific questions, communicate them prior to the conference.  This is a big tip – a teacher can tailor the conference to your needs if there is information you want to discuss.  You can do this via e-mail, voicemail, or write a note.  In our school we have 15 minutes per conference, and I know that isn’t adequate time.  I plan to prioritize the questions I have to make sure we have an opportunity to talk about my biggest questions.  The rest can follow up in an e-mail, a follow up phone call, or an additional time to meet if necessary.  Remember, teachers are available to you all year long!

Thank Your Teacher

Being a classroom teacher shouldn’t be thankless job.  No matter what your questions or concerns, be thankful.  Showing genuine gratitude for the work teachers do every day should never taken for granted.  A simple, “Thank you for all you do!” means so much to a teacher.  They definitely deserve it!

Sincerely yours,

HMG

Resolving Conflict at School

We are off to a great start this school year, and after three days we’ve handled our share of conflict.  Inevitably, conflict will arise in our school community.  Let’s face it, not everyone will be happy with every decision made by teachers or principals.  In this post, we’ll discuss a few key ideas for managing conflict to yield the best results for all involved.  For our purposes as a school community we will use the following definition of conflict.  Conflict is a form of friction, disagreement, or discord arising within a group or by an individual.  While there are many types of conflict, we’ll use that definition as the one to describe most the conflict we see in schools.

iStock_000007773642XSmallConflict2Here are some key ideas to remember in order to resolve conflict when it arises:

 Identify the Root of Your Conflict

The first key idea to successful conflict resolution sounds simple; however, many times it is not.  Over time every student, parent, or teacher has interactions with others that may feed future conflict.  Unresolved conflict from the past will compound the current issues.  Before attempting to communicate with the other party, first identify the conflict without allowing the past to impact the current situation.  I remember my mom teaching me from a very young age that it was better to handle one situation, or conflict, at a time because if you don’t you’ll only be more emotional when you finally decide to deal with it.

Remove the Emotion

Too many times I have observed adults allow their emotions to be the driving force in communication as they attempt to resolve conflict.  If given the opportunity, children respond in this way as well.  The second key idea to successful conflict resolution is to get your emotions in check.  Whether the situation has made you angry or sad, heightened emotion will only decrease your ability to decide which are the right questions to ask.  Only by asking the right questions will you get the information you need in order to move to the next key idea, which is listening to understand.

Listening to Understand 

Ok, let’s be honest.  This one is really difficult.  It may be the most difficult of our key ideas to implement in the process of conflict resolution. Remember, if we’ve made it to this key idea we have identified our issue and removed the emotion we feel in order to ask the right questions. We have a strategy to teach this in schools, and I have included it below.  Using I statements, children begin to process their emotions and communicate what it is they want and need from those around them.  As adults, we need to ask questions in order to seek answers.  Remember, though, that even if we ask the right questions it is for the sole purpose of listening to the answers.  Many adults, myself included, are guilty of listening to respond in order to get what they want.  Truly listening, especially when we are in conflict, is essential to be able to determine if there are ways to negotiate a solution.

Click below for a strategy for helping children with conflict resolution:

http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/article/coaching-children-handling-everyday-conflicts

Negotiate a Solution

By the time we make it to this key idea, both parties clearly understand the conflict.  It is likely both sides understand the position of the other, and a mutual solution may be clear to all.  If there isn’t a clear solution at this time, the conversation may have revealed fundamental differences in your position.  If this is the case, it is important to find a win-win compromise when possible.

Will there be times during our school year where you feel as if our concerns weren’t heard?  It is our goal to say, “No!”  Remember, there are a few principles present in our approach to resolving conflict:  be calm, be patient, and have respect.  Many times resolving conflict is more about the approach taken than the solution, because when both sides of conflict seek to understand each other many times that mutually agreed solution becomes crystal clear!

 Sincerely Yours,

HMG

A Parent’s Guide for Back to School

If you are like me, you spent a few minutes this weekend visiting Target or Wal-Mart gearing your kids up to return to school.  As I was standing in line, I looked around at the other families with their carts full of #2 pencils, Crayola crayons and colored pencils,  folders, notebooks, binders, dry erase markers, Kleenex, and Clorox wipes and it reminded me of all our families preparing to return this week.  So, here are a few tips to start the school year off right and keep it going in the right direction.

A Parent’s Guide for Back to School:  3Tips for a Successful School Year  

Establish a Routine

This is the most important tip to discuss!  Children, and most adults,  thrive on structure.  Younger children depend on routines to learn successful habits.   I encourage parents to work together with their school aged children and create a checklist or agenda to outline their responsibilities in the morning, after school, and the evening.  When parents allow their children to be involved in the process of establishing school routines, its focused on responsibility and ownership which increases effectiveness.

Our evenings go a little like this, after dinner the kids take a bath and brush their teeth.  Then once we have pajamas on we choose our outfits for the following day and put them on top of the dresser, so we know where to find them in the morning.  Then it is bedtime, but not before we enjoy a story or a chapter in one of our favorite books.  As you can see, by making some of the most contentious decisions in the evening while everyone is awake and not sleepy or grumpy, we’ve decreased any opportunity to make small decisions a big deal.  This makes our morning easier to manage, and decreases many of the morning power struggles before the kids get to school.

After school we are much more laid back.  We choose not to do homework right after school.  I realize my six year old has just spent a full day in a structured environment, so we take some time and space to relax and play.  We usually decide on a whim if he wants to do homework before or after dinner, and whatever he chooses is when we do it.  I think by giving him the choice, again, it give him buy in and a little control over the decision.  Then our evening routine starts again, and once the kids are asleep we head down to make and pack lunches for the next day.

Create a Partnership with your Teacher & School

Take the first step to open the channels of communication with your child’s teacher.  Sure, there are ice cream socials and back to school events which allow parents a sneak peek into the classroom.  I encourage you not to stop there.  Within the first few weeks of school reach out and schedule a time to talk on the phone or send a quick e-mail.  Share with the teacher the best ways to get in touch with you, and encourage him or her to contact you whenever needed.  If there are specifics you’d like the teacher to know about your child, communicate them.  I’ve observed so many parents use the wait and see approach with teacher communication.  Communicate as often as needed to make you feel as if you have an accurate pulse on the classroom and your child’s progress.

If possible, find a way to volunteer.  Whether this is consistently or only when you have time off work, it is so important for your child to see you invested in his or her learning process.  Ask the teacher where and when help is most needed, and make it work.  You won’t regret it!  I have heard parents say, “I don’t think my child’s teacher likes volunteers.”  I don’t know of an elementary school teacher who would turn down another pair of adult hands, even if it is only every once in a while.  If you feel more comfortable volunteering outside of the classroom get connected with the PTO and find out what opportunities might be right for you.

This is too important not to mention – please never let your child hear you speak negatively about a teacher or the school.  This undermines the work of the school and creates unnecessary questions in the mind of a child.  If you have questions or disagree with something, reach out to the adults involved and find a solution.  Many times, just gathering all the facts can provide clarity and direction.

Stay Connected & Informed

Many schools and teachers use newsletters and/or maintain websites to provide parents with as much news, information, and upcoming events as possible.   Most websites have the opportunity to sign up for the listserv, which sends you an email at an address of your choice when new information is posted.  In addition, many now have Twitter and Facebook to expand the means of communication through social media.  If you are unsure how to get the most up to date and accurate information, call the school’s office or e-mail your child’s teacher.  Schools put a lot of information “out there”, but we know our families are as busy ever.  Find a way to get the information you need when and how YOU need it.

Good luck to all the teachers, students, and families who start school this week!  We are right there with you.  This is a great time to be an educator, and together with families, we will all find success in the end.

Sincerely yours,

HMG

An Education Revolution Starts Now

Do you know a teacher?  If you do please contact him or her right now to say thanks for all they do.  The work they do provides so much to be proud of.  You are probably asking, “Who are you?”  and maybe something like, “Why should I thank a teacher?”

Most importantly I am a wife and mother of two amazing kids.  My son just finished kindergarten, and my daughter will begin full day pre-school this fall.  Professionally, I have been a classroom teacher, an instructional/reading coach, an elementary principal, and currently serve as an elementary school assistant principal.  I will share more with you about each of these experiences in the future, but today I am here to begin a revolution.  Let me introduce myself.  Hello world!  My name is Heather, and I am an educator.  Wow, that sounds like an introduction to an education support group; maybe that is what we can be to each other.

As a little girl, I always knew I’d be a teacher.  I’d come home from school and play school.  I organized my stuffed animals and little brother into a class and played teacher.  I didn’t come from a teaching family, which I always found an interesting question when asked.  My father is the oldest of nine kids in a really fun Irish Catholic family, and while two of my aunts turned out to be amazing teachers, their decision to teach wasn’t an impact upon me.  Sadly, I don’t have “that teacher” who made me want to be a teacher either.  I had good teachers, don’t get me wrong, but being a teacher was just who I am meant to be.  In high school I had a great friend and his parents were teachers.  I remember stories she told me  about how it was hard to be a teacher.  She told me that if I wanted to have a life and be happy I should choose a different profession.   I remember these conversations vividly, and her best attempts to talk me out of being a teacher eventually failed.  I was overwhelmed and overjoyed by the smell of crayons, glue sticks, and freshly sharpened pencils.  How many of you still get giddy over school supplies?

I don’t pretend to be in the trenches anymore.  I fully believe the only people in the trenches are teachers.  They spend their time working with the most important clients – OUR CHILDREN.  Many times the voices of our teachers are silenced outside the classroom. Why is that? Why do those who do the most important work in our field have so little voice outside their classrooms?   I’d be interested in hearing teacher’s responses to that question in the comments below.  Since I haven’t been in the classroom for over five years, I don’t think I am at liberty to offer an answer because it will be an assumption based on observation and conversation, and let me tell you that we don’t need more second hand assumptions!   While I observe the teachers and students in the trenches, I am not planning for instruction in the same way teachers are.  I no longer see the light bulbs turn on when a child decodes a word or sentence well enough to comprehend.  No, I am not the leader of that type of instruction anymore.

I am a leader of a different type of instruction.  I lead teachers.  I do my very best to minimize the micromanagement of teachers while providing them with the information and resources they need to be highly effective educators.  Yes, I have responsibilities to plan and implement professional development, analyze and utilize instructional data, and maintain a learning environment that impacts more than academics, but I am a building administrator.  That comes with the territory, and those are tasks I enjoy.  I can address the data and defend test scores.   There is a fine line between shared decision making and over delegation in schools.  I strongly believe teachers should teach.  Bottom line.  Everything they do should be focused on kids.  Everything.  That is a priority for our school this year.  We will increase the investment in the classroom while decreasing the external demands on our teachers, especially those that lack relevance and a direct impact to their professional craft.  I’ve made my share of mistakes in that area, and I am still learning.  I reflect often on how can we allow teachers to focus most of their energy on teaching.  How do we help them learn to ask the right questions to create critical and creative thinkers instead of drilling the mastery of basic skills?  Let’s allow teachers to think and ask really good questions in order to help students do the same.

Being an educator is (insert the slide here that flashes hundreds of words in a minute) an honor.  One that I am realizing comes with much more individual responsibility than was ever shared with me during my undergraduate education, and even in graduate school.  We focused on the how and why we teach and lead the way that particular university felt was right; however, we didn’t dwell on the fact that being a teacher is one of the most difficult, least respected, and intensely political career choices.  Those of us who forge ahead in the daily operations of an actual school understand the challenges, while outsiders banter and argue over the wild world of educational reform, accountability, assessment and think they understand the monumental task placed on the shoulder of teachers.  If education is the future of our children then we need to speak up, not to cause issue, instead; let’s provide insight.  Let’s no longer allow second hand assumptions to drive decisions that impact our classrooms.  I refuse.  I have a voice, and after ten years in a profession I’ve thought more than once about leaving, I realize it is time to use my voice.  My experience and opinion matter.  It has to.

I know this:  educators are in crisis at all levels.  There are too many extraneous things to distract teachers and building leaders from the essential intent of school:  TO TEACH KIDS TO  THINK.  Learning is a product of thinking.  Did you know teachers, really great teachers, are leaving our profession?  In my school district I am aware of a handful of excellent teachers who are leaving our classrooms to stay at home with their own children or find work in an area they can feel proud of.  Did you hear me?  Teachers are leaving education to find work they can be proud of!  How did we find ourselves in a place where teachers aren’t proud to be teachers?   This is a problem.  How did we get here?

At home, one of our family values is “be a problem solver”.  We have family meetings focused on how to be a problem solver in all areas of our lives:  at home, at school, at the swimming pool and any other area that presents a problem (so…everywhere!).  I ask my fellow educators:  How are we going to solve this problem?  The first step to solving a problem is to identify it.  So, here is the plan in our school this year:

  1. Identify what is going well
  2. Identify our largest constraints.  What keeps us from our mission of providing an education that encompasses academic, social, and emotional development for all children?
  3. Collaborate:  divide, share, plan, solve
  4. Celebrate
  5. Repeat

Sounds easy, right?  So, teachers and principals, are you with me?  How will we find a voice to help the climate of education focus more on student learning and less on ineffective tests and accountability?   Let’s spread the word that teachers and school administrators are not intimidated by accountability, but we demand authentic assessments focused on growth of thinking skills rather than those focused on master of basic skills.  How can we change the climate of education from the walls inside our schoolhouse? Muhammad Ali said, “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”  Let’s take a big risk together.    When our teachers and students return in the fall I will share with you our success and failures at solving our largest constraints.  We can make a direct impact in our schools, and I’d love to hear how you work to solve yours. We have a lot of work to do. Let’s get started.

Sincerely Yours,

HMG

Next up:  New Year Same You?